How Do You Choose The Correct Religion?
Nearly every major religion preaches that it is the one true religion. If there’s only one true religion, what happens to all the people who don’t subscribe to it? Do they rot in hell just because they chose the wrong religion?
I was baptized Roman Catholic. I went to Church and Sunday School most weeks until I was eight. I was Roman Catholic because that was all I knew. There was no other choice.
In the sixth grade, I had a class that aimed to teach us about morality and religions from around the world. One day, the teacher said something that stuck with me: “Religion is a choice. You can choose your religion.”
This incited me to study religions in a deeper sense. As I became more familiar with different religions, I became less religious. In every religion I studied, I found teachings that made sense, and I found teachings that were contradictory or ridiculous. There was no one religion that, adopted wholesale, made for a good choice.
In college, I took an interest in philosophy, and ethics specifically. This was refreshing to me. It was a rational, logical way to pick a way of life without having to adopt a set of principles wholesale. Philosophy offered guidelines, without the threat of rotting in hell. So then, it was Atheism for me. Except, I couldn’t commit to that choice, either. Something was missing. Something I could only call spiritual.
Today, I don’t consider myself a Catholic. I meditate and have dabbled in Yoga, but hesitate to call myself a Buddhist. After all, I don’t believe in reincarnation. I have issues with organized religion in general, but still consider myself a spiritual person. I do good in a way that’s consistent with my own values, as they’ve been defined by my parents, my friends, social norms and my personal experiences. But as for a label, I haven’t chosen one yet.
Many people my age are in the same situation because they had something that generations before theirs did not have: a choice. Participation in organized religion in developed countries is declining, and many blame a generation of heathens.
My generation is no better or worse than the generation that preceded it. The reason we don’t participate in organized religion is that religion doesn’t hold a monopoly anymore.
It used to be that if your parents were Catholic, you were Catholic, end of story. Religion had a captive audience. Now, we have a choice. We’re shopping around for the best religion, and you know what? We can’t pick a winner. We’re paralyzed by choice, and so, we decide that maybe we don’t need organized religion after all.
The thing to know about the millennial generation, is not that we’re heathens, but that we don’t feel compelled to do things a certain way just because that’s how they’ve always been done. We’ve been given the ability to choose for ourselves, more so than any other generation, and we like it. Unfortunately, any savvy marketer will tell you that the paradox of choice is that too much choice means that no one ends up buying anything.
What are you buying?
Image: stuck in customs
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[...] not something that happens by ‘luck of the draw’ . Adam DiSefano writes today, in The Next Great Generation blog, that for Millennials, it’s hard to know ‘how to choose the correct religion’: [...]
I have to say this story really struck a chord with me. My life has kind of turned out the same way. I was baptized Roman Catholic but my parents never forced my to practice except when family was around or when I needed to get my First Communion. As I got older I chose not to get Confirmed, even though I went to a Catholic high school. Religion just wasn’t for me. It’s easier for me to just make choices based on my own moral code rather than some religion telling me what’s right and wrong, even though there are some basic principles that should always be followed (ie: don’t kill anyone). To me, no one really has it right.
Now I don’t consider myself religious at all. My college is one the Princeton Review’s list of schools where students are least likely to believe in God, if that tells you anything.
I think that you’re right in the end. There are too many choices, and if I’m not forced to believe anything, then I won’t.
I think it depends. I was also brought up Roman Catholic and went to a Catholic school until high school. My high school was very liberal and therefore many religious beliefs were always in circulation, yet I stayed true to mine. I think that religion is something that you can look to when everything else around you in crumpling. I do want to admit though that there are parts of Catholicism that I don’t agree with, but in general I believe it is the general overall faith that is important in the end anyway. Even if you are not forced to pick one, you may end up doing so if you need somewhere to turn, even if it is just for a few minutes. Religion is like riding a bike, you can put it down, but once you pick it up again its like you never left. That is comforting in a world when nothing else is certain.
My dad and his family are muslim, while my mom and her side of the family are Eastern Orthodox. I grew up as Eastern Orthodox, but once I went to high school I became much less concerned what I called myself. I didn’t go to church, but I believed in a supreme power. It wasn’t necessary God, nor Allah, nor Buddha. I just believed and for me that was enough. Now I go to a Catholic university, but I haven’t been to a mass, which is very unusual. Probably 95% of the students go to mass at least once a week. I just don’t see the need to identify myself with one religion or another. I just believe.
This is the article that I wanted to write but couldn’t put into clear words. I was raised Catholic as well and stuck with it through confirmation at the age of 13. But I remember sitting in class in 8th grade, joking about how me and my friends would write our own Bible with only the things we believed to be true. Now, I feel like being Catholic is an important part of my Irish heritage, but it is not my religion.
I never made a religious choice because no religion has every answer for me. And they all come pre-packaged with their own dogma, traditions, stereotypes, and elaborate history. It’s too complicated. I’d rather just deal with the end when it comes.
Very cool post.
I was raised atheist in the literal sense, meaning my parents did not go to church, and did not claim to be any one faith. Today, I am in atheist still, meaning I do not believe in deities, period.
But I understand faith, I think, and in my heathen, sure-to-burn-in-hell-for-all-eternity opinion, to say that religion can be a choice runs totally counter to the idea of faith. Maybe at first, when you make the decision to believe, it can be a choice, but after that, you gotta stay believing. Got to. Otherwise, where is the faith? Consider the definition of faith: Faith is believing what you know ain’t so (Mark Twain). Which is why faith is so hard. If something happens that you know pretty much proves without a doubt that your faith is wrong, you still believe. That’s just how it works. You can’t just say, “Well, that sucks, movin’ on!”
Or am I just spouting drivel?
Jeff
http://www.cerebellumblues.com
I am a Christian and see this article as an emotion most my peers around me feel. I do not believe, as a Christian, that you have to PICK a religion. But I believe you should believe in God. All religions have different rituals and beliefs, but the main thing is that God is creator of us all and should be recognized that way.
I avoid this discussion with almost everyone…but this post made think…
Great article, Adam.
My father was a steadfast atheist and my mother was Church of England (although she only ever went to church at Christmas, so she wasn’t the most devout of believers). Neither of them tried to push their own beliefs onto me, though, which I am very grateful for. Like you, I studied all religions, as it’s a subject that absolutely fascinates me, just from a sociological point of view if nothing else. I lean towards atheism, purely because I have never seen any evidence of any truth in any of the religions I have studied, and I tend to have an evidence-based, scientific mind… BUT, I keep an open mind, because I haven’t seen any evidence that 100% disproves the existence of a ‘higher power’ either. Some of my religious friends tell me that keeping an open mind isn’t good enough and that I need to devote myself to some kind of worship (usually THEIR kind of worship, of course) or I’ll end up damned forever or somesuch. The only trouble is, as your article so excellently highlights, when you’ve studied ALL religions and not found anything to make you lean towards any one of them over any other of them, it’s a bit tricky to make that choice.
I think you’ll find a lot of people agreeing with you here. I think there are a great deal of millennials who are still following along with the religion that they were brought up to follow.
I agree with you but I won’t speak for millennials, I’ll speak for myself.
I was raised Jewish, had a Bar Mitzvah and everything. My dad is from Ireland, mom from Israel. I don’t believe in any specific religion. I think the tough part for people that are in our situation will be bringing up their own children. Religion has become a staple of raising a child. It’s part of the process. What do you do? Just celebrate the main holidays without letting your kids know where these holidays come from? Do you send them to religion school as a formality?
That will be the tough part for me…
David
Community Manager, Scribnia.com
I was raised Catholic. It didn’t take. Now I’m an atheist, and to be totally frank I don’t have a high opinion of religion, or even that nebulous idea of “spirituality.” I think people overestimate how important religious ideas really are to the functioning of society. Most holidays that have acquired religious meaning–such as Christmas and Easter–had their start as celebrations of natural/agricultural events, like the winter solstice and autumn harvest. Marriage is often erroneously thought of as a strictly religious institution, but in reality it finds its origin in the early agricultural economic system. The so-called “wars of religion” that have happened throughout history tend to, in reality, have a sociopolitical bases, with religious trappings added as a justification. I can easily, as the song goes, imagine a world without religion. Maybe the lost spiritual seekers of the world ought to take a moment and consider if faith is really necessary.
It didn’t take? That’s a good way of putting it. I think I’ll borrow that.
Great post, thanks for articulating the issue so well. It’s true, you no longer have to choose what your parents chose for you, but for your own sake, you should choose something. It’s worth taking the time to think it through sooner, rather than later. My advice is to keep seeking until you figure it out; when you find the ‘correct’ religion, things really do get easier.
Love this! I’m Gen Y and I’m currently pondering what it meant to grow up Rom Cath. I thought it was a given, like the fact that I’m French Canadian. No one ever told me I could pick! Once I realized I did have a choice, I chose nothing, until I was ready to explore religion.
The time has come.
I’m currently conducting a “Church Tour” and I’m checking out the different religious communities around my area (western Mass). It’s fascinating stuff, and even helps put perspective on areas I wouldn’t have otherwise paid attention to on a Sunday morning. You can check out my blog with these posts here: http://www.my365degrees.com/365-blog
Thanks for this post, fascinating personal account of your spiritual journey. The choices out there are baffling. This is an important insight into the thinking of many today.
God bless.
Great post!
I’ve been in search of a not too religious religion. (Also looked into Buddism, but I’m not totally sold.) Basically, I believe having at least the fear of God is critical in child rearing; having a certain amount of faith is important; and although I don’t go to church, I still pray & believe in God…although that may be the fear of God speaking.
Quakers have the right idea w/their quiet worship and seem to pretty much phone it in. Not to mention, there’s no real conversion process. With that being said, my Roman Catholic mother would KILL me if I ever had a child w/out getting him/her baptized in a church. I think it’s more superstition than anything. Isn’t superstition sacrilegious?
Thanks for the comments, all. Nice to see that there are people commenting here that followed me from outside TNGG, and new faces I don’t recognize.
@McKenzie – In the end, I think choosing multiple choice option “e) none of the above” is just a valid a choice as any of the other options.
@Kim – I like the line, “religion is like riding a bike.” The context you put it in also drives home my point, though. I pick and choose parts of religions that appeal to me, you pick and choose when to turn to it. In the end, the choices are there.
@Andreana – Mixed heritages are more and more common and will only contribute to the phenomenon of “choosing” a religion. I’m glad to see someone who has dealt with it in a way that she’s happy with.
@Christine – Amen.
@Jeff – I don’t think you’re spouting drivel. You make a great point. Are Gen-Yers who now want to be able to pick and choose parts of religions simply without faith? Could be. Because, if we had faith, then we would just accept a religion wholesale, right? In any case, I think faith is secondary to living a good life.
@Dana – I used to avoid this discussion, but when I discovered that I could talk about religion with an open mind and really listen and learn from others, I started talking about it more. As a result, I’ve discussed religion with deeply religious Christians, Muslims, Jews, and more. We may not share beliefs, but I’ve definitely learned a lot from them.
@Paul – Should we just roll the dice then? If it comes up Druid, we live as Druids. If it comes up, Pagan, we worship the sun? What do you say?
@David – I think religion was an integral part of raising a child, but more and more, that’s changing. I know plenty of people who have been raised without a strong tie to any given religion (some in this very discussion thread). Whether or not that’s desirable is for you to decide for your own children, but overall, I think that you can certainly raise a well-adjusted family with strong value without religion – or without any single religion, anyway.
@Mike – I understand and agree with most of what you say. However, most of what you refer to is with regards to organized religion, not so much spirituality. Spirituality is very much a way to find inner strength and empowerment, and has little to do with dogma and rituals. Those lost spiritual seekers you refer to are on more of a journey of self-discovery than on a pilgrimage.
@Carol – I don’t think I’ll ever stop seeking, but I doubt that I will land anywhere. Not to be cliche, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s about the journey, not the destination.
@Angela – That’s a really interesting project you’ve undertaken. I look forward to seeing what (if any) conclusions you draw from it.
@Rev. Paul – Thank you for the kind words.
@lauren – I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that Quakers “phone it in” before.
I am not certain what people mean by “spirituality.” Does it mean belief in nonphysical, i.e. supernatural, things? I don’t see any reason to believe in the supernatural.
@Mike – I hear ya, man. I have a hard time with certain supernatural things, myself. For example, I’m not really sold on ghost stories and “miracles.” But at the same time, the supernatural is relative. We have a tendency to think that anything we can’t explain is supernatural. As science evolves, things get moved from the supernatural category into the natural category in public consciousness. Part of faith is believing in something that can’t be explained by science YET.
Spirituality, though, I think is different. I think spirituality is really a method of self-reflection. It’s less about natural or supernatural events, and more about the way you relate to the world. Just my opinion, of course.
I start with the interconnectedness of all things, and go from there.
“We are the briefest, tiniest presence yet we are wholly connected with everything that was, is, and shall be.” -me
I think it depends. I was also brought up Roman Catholic and went to a Catholic school until high school. My high school was very liberal and therefore many religious beliefs were always in circulation, yet I stayed true to mine. I think that religion is something that you can look to when everything else around you in crumpling. I do want to admit though that there are parts of Catholicism that I don't agree with, but in general I believe it is the general overall faith that is important in the end anyway. Even if you are not forced to pick one, you may end up doing so if you need somewhere to turn, even if it is just for a few minutes. Religion is like riding a bike, you can put it down, but once you pick it up again its like you never left. That is comforting in a world when nothing else is certain.