Males Against Metrosexuality
A few years ago, I submitted a writing sample to a popular online men’s magazine. I was angling for a spot as a sports correspondent. After a few weeks, I got a call from an editor, and he requested a meeting.
When I arrived at the company’s offices, I was greeted by the editor. He was in his 20s. He had medium-length hair that was kept in place with large quantities of hair product. He wore designer jeans, and a button-down shirt that had the top two buttons undone. His facial hair was so perfectly trimmed, that I spent half the time I talked to him wondering if he penciled it in.
He informed me that they liked my writing, but they didn’t have any openings for sports writers. What about automotives? I asked. Nope. Travel? Nope. So why did they have me come in? They wanted to know if I’d be interested in writing about men’s fashion.
That’s the story of how I became a fashion correspondent for Askmen.com. I wrote on such fascinating topics as how to wear color, and spray tanning. At the time, I was still in school, and a new semester had started. One day, a classmate that I didn’t know approached me and asked, “Hey, do you write for Askmen?”
It was the first time I’d ever been recognized for my writing. I should have been proud. Instead, I was embarrassed. You see, I was a fraud. When my classmate approached me, I was wearing track pants and a hoodie. I was still sporting my summer crew cut, and I hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. This wasn’t an off day. My appearance on that day was fairly representative of my attire and grooming throughout university.
Every article I wrote about fashion, I first researched heavily, and then wrote in a completely tongue-in-cheek manner. After all of that, the only thing I learned was that my shoes should always match my belt (I now own a reversible belt that’s black on one side, and brown on the other). Eventually, I stopped writing for the site. My creativity well ran dry, and I just couldn’t come up with any more ways to write about the difference between gel and pomade.
From high school onwards, I’ve watched many of my male friends become the definition of metrosexual. They own as many pairs of shoes as my female friends. They take even longer to get ready in the morning. I’ve watched this trend, and I’ve arguably contributed to it, but I refuse to take part in it.
No matter how modern a man is, there’s still room for being manly, and no part of being a man involves moisturizing and exfoliating. There’s a pride in acting manly, the same way women feel pride in being feminine. It has nothing to do with gender roles and traditionalism, it has to do with feeling comfortable in your own skin, and my skin feels most comfortable when it’s shaved only occasionally, preferably with a straight razor. I like knowing that I can roll out of bed and be ready to walk out the door in ten minutes. And I don’t particularly feel like I’m missing out on anything when I don’t purchase jeans that cost as much as half my wardrobe.
I used to regard my metro friends with a hint of disdain, a misplaced superiority. That’s not the case anymore. Now, I see them as conforming to a new set of norms. That scares me. Because if they’re conforming to norms, that means that metrosexuality is not just accepted, it’s being encouraged. And from an economic perspective, why wouldn’t it be? Clothing and cosmetics brands can now target men with the same gusto they used to only be able to target women. They’ve doubled their target market!
While I can’t deny the trend, and the pressure from billboards, tv spots, magazines and even peers to embrace it, I refuse. If you ever see me in a pair of D&G jeans, rest assured that they were a gift and I will wear them until they are threadbare in order to avoid shopping for another pair. If you ever see me with a tan, I promise you that it’s from actually being outdoors, and I will never step foot in a tanning salon, or attempt spray tanning.
And I refuse to believe I’m alone in this. Men, if you’re with me, step forward, and beat your chest proudly. Ladies, speak up, and remind the men of our generation that you still like a man with a smaller closet than you.
Let’s hear it in the comments!
Image: Chrisamichaels
This article is part of 4-part series: Millennials on Metrosexuality
Read the other three:
Why I Hate Metro Men
A New Kind of Candy, A New Kind of Equality
Being Metro is More Than A Label
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by edwardboches: The other side of metrosexuality, Gen Y male against http://bit.ly/5Art3n Gen Y male in favor http://bit.ly/6VlmY2 Insights to Gen Y #tngg…
You're kinda cute. Maybe you just need a makeover!
BWA-HAHAHAHA!
After four articles, I think we may be over-analyzing this subject to death but I'll offer one more log to the fire… Addy (the pro-Metro girl) is European. Does nationality play into this debate as well? I'm thinking it does.
On an entirely separate note, I can't help but wonder how this movement relates to how our generation feels about gay men. We're known to be more open and accepting of the gay lifestyle than any previous generation and we can usually identify a metrosexual guy without questioning which gender he prefers to date. Maybe the increase in metro men is happening because men can now openly enjoy more “feminine” pleasures without being automatically rejected by women?
After studying abroad in Europe for only two weeks, I would whole-heartedly agree that nationality plays a role. Guys here wear decorative scarves to accessorize their outfits every day, yet in America I can't name one guy I know who even owns a scarf. I definitely agree that metro men are being more accepted (and I DO accept them, despite my headline haha) because of our increased tolerance of homosexual males.
I think it has plenty to do with the gender roles and traditionalism you mentioned briefly. These metro men have always been around, but we live in a society where it's becoming more acceptable to do what makes you feel most comfortable. These men can now wear the clothes that they want and the products that they want without having to feel like any less of a man. These gender roles are starting to fade away, instead being replaced by freedom and self-expression. If you don't want to shave, don't. If you want to sculpt your facial hair, by all means, go ahead. Men can now wear the clothes that they want and the products that they want without having to feel like any less of a man.
The point is that you are who you are. Period. The end. So act accordingly. Masculinity and feminitiy isn't black and white. There is plenty of grey in between and most people fall into that category. And just how you feel that your friends are conforming, there have been plenty of men in the past who have felt the need to conform and be “manly.” Not all gay men feel the desire to be “fabulous” and get mani-pedis on a weekly basis. Conversely, not all straight men feel the desire to slam a six-pack of Bud and watch the Pats.
Great Story Adam! I'm with you in that I find metro-sexuality silly. This not because I am macho and feel men are best suited for activities like chopping down trees and hanging sheet rock over teasing hair and moisturizing skin. I embrace my manhood because as long as my outfit isn't (completely) wrinkled, my shoes DO match my belt, and my hair isn't completely Yeti, no one will give a crap.
Supporting what Martin says, you are who you are. While people will make snap judgement about you based on appearance, it's up to your personality and social skills to give them an accurate picture. All I see in someone who is painstakingly landscaping their body is a sad combination of vanity & insecurity!
Thanks for the post!
Until recently I used to say that people, regardless of nationality, have their own style. However, when I went back to Europe this winter I did see that Europeans tend to care more about their appearance and look more put together than Americans. Maybe this is part of the reason why I do like metro men. In my opinion metrosexuality is a topic only in the USA, provided I've never been to Canada. But no other country I've been to, and I've been to a lot, uses the terms metro man and metrosexuality.
Metro men are part of our society and the truth is that there is a reason why. I see it as a simple demand/supply situation. If society and women in particular did not provide metro men with some benefits so to say, they wouldn't exist. It is the same with women who use too much makeup. Some men complain, but the reality is that other men like them that is why they are part of our society.
Thanks… I think…
Christine – I kinda agree that we've beaten this horse to death, which is kind of funny because these posts sparked a lot more debate than I think any of the authors actually anticipated.
On the nationality thing, I have to agree with Addy. Metrosexuality seems to be a purely North American construct. There's no concept of it in Europe, and I think that has something to do with extremes. European men fall somewhere on the scale between North American metrosexuals, and North American hyper-low-maintenance men. I think, if anything, metrosexuality says more about North Americas love of extremes than anything else.
On the question about attitudes towards gay people – I can see why it's tempting to make the association, but I don't think there's a connection. Most hardcore metrosexuals I know could teach the guys from “Queer Eye” a thing or two about accessorizing…
Brittney, you can't name one guy that owns a scarf? I wrote an article titled “Males Against Metrosexuality” and I own three scarves! Although, that might say more about the weather in Canada, than it does about metrosexuality…
Martin – coudln't agree more. I can't stand the Pats. Go Vikings!
Scott – I think we're on the same page. The argument against that, however, based on what I'm reading in the comments sections of the other posts from this series is that it's a double standard to think that way, because women are expected to painstakingly landscape their bodies. Any thoughts on that?
My view is that I won't deny that a beautiful woman will catch my eye over one that's less beautiful, but I'm far more attracted to natural beauty than to two inches of make-up and designer clothes.
(Now's the part where all the women tell me how much work goes into looking like you put no work into your makeup)
Hey Addy – I only spent one summer in Europe (Spain to be specific), but I agree with what you're saying (and can confirm that metrosexuality extends to Canada).
And yes, I suppose there are women who like metro guys, yourself included, and so that's encouragement to adopt that style. On the other hand, though, there are also women, such as Brittney, who would prefer a man who spends less time on his appearance. That being said, if there's a market for both, and I have to choose which way to go, and one is easier, I think I'll stick with the easier path.
I do acknowledge that there is a double standard, but I think women are just as much (if not more) guilty of enforcing it! I'm against having everyone try to maintain unrealistic standards of beauty, as all it does is keep people in a perpetual state of insecurity. Here's a great documentary I watched recently: http://americathebeautifuldoc.com/ (Now streaming on Netflix). Great insight into just how ridiculous the state of “beauty” is in this country
I had heard about this documentary, but never watched it. Thanks for reminding me of it. I'll look into it.
Dude, you know I am just messing with you because of the content of your article, right?
Awesome! Thanks for invalidating my comment!
I wouldn't consider myself a metrosexual. However, how can you possibly say that “no part of being a man involves moisturizing and exfoliating,” and then immediately follow that with “It has nothing to do with gender roles…”?
Declaring what is and isn't a part of being a man is the very definition of “gender roles”. The fact that you're comfortable in your own, “manly” skin when you shave your face only occasionally (I'm the same way), does not mean that this is what it takes for all men to feel comfortable, which is what you seem to imply.
I'm here to say a scarf is as important in a Canadian males wardrobe as a swimtrunks are to a California dude….Great post Adam! Couldn't agree with you more on the pride behind waking up and being out of the house in ten minutes…
Yes. Please. I like my men manly – but perhaps not hot messes.