The Misplaced Motivation Of The Bra Burners
Out of the many worn, misused and misinterpreted words in present-day English language, “feminism” is high up on my list. It is not hard to come across bra-burning misandrists, raving and ranting against the opposite sex, screaming for equality – all in the name of the convenient excuse they call feminism. Onlookers applaud their heroism, their cause and their actions.
No one, even for a minute, stops to wonder what the point of this whole exercise is, and how misplaced it is. “Equality,” they shriek hoarsely, “we are as good as men, in every way.”
I am a woman, and one with enough respect to deserving members of both sexes. But I don’t want equality. No, thank you. I’d rather not fight a battle that is going to give me that irrelevant result.
I want freedom.
Freedom from the standards set by a male-dominated world. Freedom from the standards accepted by the misguided feminists. Freedom from the expectation that if I want to advance my station in life, I must be able to do everything that a man can.
I can’t. Let’s face it. A man my age, and of my weight, can lift two of my suitcases with relative ease, while I would clumsily fall over them, on them, in them – to no avail. While I consider myself to be the rare exception, I have noticed that men do tend to have better driving skills than women do. Stereotypical judgments? Perhaps. But then, every stereotype is rooted in some fact.
The truth is, I don’t want to do everything a man can do. I want to be my own being, with my own abilities, strengths and weaknesses. I don’t want anyone telling me that they are no good and that I need to be at par with masculine benchmarks to be considered a success.
I have enough to be proud about: my emotional intelligence, my ability to give birth – a miracle no man can ever claim ownership to, my natural protective instincts toward all I love and care for, my ability to manage whole families, whole businesses and even more so, families and businesses. And as anyone will ever tell you, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I think it is alright to ask a fellow male passenger for help if I am unable to lift my suitcase onto the train. It is not a threat to my independence, or my pride in my femininity. It is a simple fact whose denial serves absolutely no purpose, except to further the cause of the many angry pseudo-feminists of the world.
To them, I offer one piece of advice: think about what you are fighting for. Be less concerned with the symptoms of chauvinism, and more concerned with the disease itself. For heaven’s sake, stop being so defensive. Everything is not an attack against the fairer sex.
Most importantly, I would like to tell them this: blind criticism of men will get us nowhere — you can’t fight one form of sexism with another. And the last time I checked, there was nothing hypocritical about feminism.
Image: Rich Anderson
Great post. I was talking with someone recently about “feminism” and explained how exhausted I was with it. I DON'T want equal rights. I want things to be equitable…
I'm with you…enough of the bra burning for bra burning's sake. I'm older now…I need that bra
Nice post! I'm a big believer in anything with an “ism” at the end has an inherently nasty, ignorant and self-ish cause behind it. Fighting for equality through the lens of a one-track mind of thinking is ridiculous and isolating at best. I'm always more than excited to have a hearty debate with someone, but whenever someone asserts their “ism” on to the conversation, the conversation is over as far as I'm concerned.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is absolutely spot-on. I took a women's studies class my freshman year, and all I could think was how absolutely ludicrous some of the things we were discussing really were. Quite frankly, I find it nice when my boyfriend (or any guy) holds the door open for me — it's not an attack, it's common courtesy. I'd do the same for them if they were behind me!
I think I agree with most everything you've said. Society and culture have changed a lot in the last century, even the last 20 years have seen some dramatic shifts and you're probably right that equality advocates need to reassess where they are, who they are and what they are fighting for.
Personally, I'm very interested in Mens issues and it's very, very frustrating to have the “yeah, but there still aren't many women in C level positions today” or “we've had it bad for so long, so don't talk to me about Mens issues” responses thrown at me when I try to discuss equality problems ranging from falling reading rates among boys to domestic abuse towards men. Where's the empathy? Where's the equality in dismissing these issues because of past or even current inequity?
I'm certainly not saying that I blame feminism for these responses or attitudes, but I was always under the impression that the movement stood for equality and, as you note, freedom–from expectations, prejudice etc.
Women's groups have waged a very valiant war to for every inch of what they have won, and I support that and will continue to. But, I'd be more amenable to a movement that espoused more common ground and overall gender equality than one which fights just for women or just for men.
Thank you.
I like to classify myself as a “Feminine-ist” instead of a “Feminist.” why should being a powerful independent woman mean that we have to sacrifice being treated like the wonderful special ladies that we know we are?