What Exactly Counts As Cheating?

This article is part of the TNGG Sex Week series on Gen Y and sex. Read more from the series here.

Cheating is a touchy subject. Nobody wants to be cheated on, and everyone’s opinion on what constitutes cheating is different.

But the question I’m trying to figure out is what constitutes cheating? Without a doubt, any sort of sexual contact. Whether it be kissing, going down, or having sex with someone else while in a monogamous relationship is cheating.

Cheating is anything that would hurt your significant other. Cheating is anything you would feel guilty about. And cheating is concealing any illicit encounter from your significant other. Even if some may not think of it as cheating, it will destroy your relationship.

You also need to think about if you would be hurt by your significant other doing exactly what you are doing. And, if you really have to ask if you are cheating, that should give you the answer. You probably are.

Cheating is less about specific acts and more about knowledge. If your partner knows what you’re doing and gives his or her consent, you’re not cheating. If he or she knows what you are doing and do not consent to it, and you do it anyway, that is cheating. Also, if he or she doesn’t know what you’re doing and cannot consent, then it is also cheating.

Think about what you would not do in front of your partner, and what you know your partner would not accept. It’s less of what you think and more of what your partner would consider cheating. That could range from watching porn to having sex, and it is a good conversation to have with your partner so you are clear on what the boundaries.

Most people think of physical cheating when they think of the word and definition of cheating. Emotional cheating can be just as damaging as physical cheating to the relationship. Think of the respect you would from your significant other, and show them the same respect. Consider where your loyalty lies. It is all about being loyal to your partner, and confiding in them rather than to others, and not telling others something your partner told you in confidence.

Technology has changed the way people cheat. Some people would consider sending or receiving sexual text or picture messages as cheating. The widespread use of the internet has also been another way people cheat. Emotionally, you could confide and become emotionally intimate with someone else through text messages and emails, which could be considered cheating.

Cheating is one of the biggest factors that will determine how far your relationship will go. Meeting new people everyday is a part of life for most of us, and some of those people are going to be of the opposite sex. Just think of how your significant other would feel, and just realize your boundaries.

It doesn’t seem that Millennials are any more likely to cheat, and that cheating usually happens about three to five years into a relationship.

Photo Credit: denharsh

Author: Monique Prevost has not yet submitted a bio. She will soon though and then you’ll feel badly for doubting that she exists and wondering how long it would actually take a bus load of orangutangs with iPads to write an article like this. Shame on you!