This article is part of the TNGG Sex Week series on Gen Y and sex. Read more from the series here.
Exploiting sex as a means to sell things is wrong. Especially today, as the unrealistic and overly-idealized images of women, and men, in advertising and the media serve only to reinforce warped ideas of beauty and sexuality. Hip-hop and pop music videos portraying women as objects, along with just about any show on VH1, undermine the equality of women and poison the minds of our girls and boys. Think of the children!
On the other hand, to sell stuff it works really well. And, it feels like no one has asked why. Perhaps it’s not just the images, but ourselves that need some examination. Do we believe that people are so helpless they cannot understand overtly or idealized sexual imagery as a selective interpretation of reality and not representative of all women or all sex? Are we that helpless to media?
Further, who the hell is anyone to tell me what I should and shouldn’t admire or enjoy as representations of beauty and sexuality? I am a man and I like Playboy and the Sports Illustrated swim suite issue, but these do not diminish or lessen my feelings toward gender equality. There is no reason I can’t support women’s rights and my right to enjoy “One Night in Paris” at the same time.
Yes, there is the issue of context. Storefront windows and billboards occupy the public square in a decidedly different fashion than late night HBO. Yes, there are negative consequences to giving our little girls Barbie dolls, like eating disorders in High School. Or the problem of “Bond Girls” influencing our boys to see women as objects. Yes, those things are bad.
But, if we accept this, that means that our popular culture and the mass media are teaching and influencing our children more than their parents and mentors.
We have far deeper problems than warped representations of sexuality in any Cover Girl ad or Brittney Spears video. Stories about Disney princesses warp our girl’s ideas about what relationships should be far more than shows like Sex and the City. Abstinence programs in our schools withholding information about sex lead to far less capable sex-ed teachers, like MTV’s “Undressed,” filling that role.
Stop being so scared of sex, man up and say “vagina”. Say it aloud right now! VAGINA!!
Our society is often so uptight about sexuality that our instinct has been to hide it rather than face it. These days, avoiding the subject makes mass media a de facto educator, in both facts and values.
Further, that it undermines women (and yes men too, let’s not forget about that) to portray them sexually in media, even unrealistically, is probably true. But, only because as a society we fail to educate otherwise. The fault is not inherent to the image.
Allowing rampant pop culture to inform our youth in place of a deeper and more personal cultural dialogue about sex—who and what we are as people—is a problem. But, censorship isn’t the answer. We need to trust that, as people, we can learn the difference between reality and fiction—but, the difference and the values behind it need to be taught. If we openly recognized the covers of Maxim and Playboy, Cosmopolitan and People for what they are, an idealization of the human form, then how can they be harmful to us?
Us Millennials grew up playing with Barbie, listening to “Love Line” in High School, watching “Undressed” and “Sex in the City”. We’ve seen all the sexy ads and overtly sexual music videos and the world has yet to fall apart. We played the “penis game” on the bus and we may have found porn online when we were a bit too young, and on the whole we are ok.
In summary, chill out about sex in the media and go talk to your kids. And even if you don’t, they’re probably gonna be ok anyways. We’re not half as bad off as you think. What are we all so afraid of?
Photo Credit: 8136496@N05
Author: Jason Potteiger – Associate Editor TNGG
Now I'm not opposed to exploiting sex and sexuality as a marketing tool. Procreation is one of our most basic and urgent needs, and I have no objections to ritualizing it a bit–that's what makes it more exciting.
But I draw a huge line between using sex to sell and the out-and-out manipulation of images of women. I freelance occasionally as a touch-up artist, and let me tell you…every. single. photo. of a woman that you have ever seen in a “People” or a “Cosmopolian” has been altered. Every last one.
A woman I know who worked for decades as a couple's therapist told me stories about husbands who couldn't feel attracted to their wives because they had a little cellulite in the thighs, because their upper arms drooped. It's unfair to both men and women at that point.
I both agree and disagree with you. A study I came across via NPR a year or so ago found that, when teenage men were were asked to identify the “ideal” male body, something like more than 60% of them picked a body type that was only attainable without the use of steroids. That's pretty messed up. What's more messed up is that these body image issues among men aren't talked about even a tenth as much as woman's issues, but that's a whole other thing…
However, I don't know if we should be blaming the “fake” images that are out there in the media for a husband's feelings toward sex, that you mention above. They are fiction, they are an ideal that is basically impossible–and the effects of this can be bad, yes. But, are we really too dumb to recognized these things for what they are and move on?
In reality the problem probably lies on both sides. A majority of people aren't even attracted to the images magazines or Next Top Model are putting out there anymore, but these editors and producers are just tone def. If they weren't we'd see more girls like Christina Hendricks on the covers of magazines. Personally, I'd welcome that with open arms. On the other side, I think we need to realize there's a difference between healthy reality and fiction–and we control how we feel, not the media.
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Jason, you rock
I'll tweet & facebook that !
S T E R E O T Y P E S
to ban or to consume with wisdom, that's the question…
Not half as bad off as we think? Have you seen some of the research on attitudes around violence against women?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_a…
http://www.amnesty.org.uk/news_details.asp?News…
Have you seen some of the conviction rates for rape?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/poli…
Pornography is not the sole contributibuting factor to these attitudes of course but the permeation of pornography into the mainstream is absolutely influentual in terms of men's attitudes toward women and relationships and expectations within sexual relationships and an increasing conflation of sex with sexual violence and the eroticising of sexual violence.
http://www.wiminswatch.org/pornographyand-anti-…
Then there are the women actually abused in the making of pornography
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-9368…
The scottish coalition against sexual exploitation is an international network campaigning against all forms of commercial sexual exploitation. If you want more information on the harms of pornography, prostitution and other aspects of the sex industry, follow us on facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Scottish-Coalitio…
I have to admit that before I say anything, I am versed in the arguments you present above, but not nearly educated enough on them to provide a thorough response. However, I will say that I take issue with your 3rd card, which suggests that pornography is responsible for men's attitudes towards rape and leads to violent acts towards women.
In my article I concede that bad things can come from images — unhappiness, body image issues, eating disorders etc. In pornography, as you note, the problems can be more extreme. But, the core of my argument is that images alone bare no intrinsic harm to us. It's an educational issue. Pornography does not, in and of itself, cause men act violently towards women. To suggest that it has the ability to influence may be true, but do you really think censoring porn would solve these problems? How did that work out with Alcohol?
Right now we have a regulated industry where we verify age and women abused in the system have the courts to help them — all because porn is legal. Right now the industry is safer and more transparent and more equitable for women than it has ever been. Ever. I shudder to think what a world where pornography goes under ground would be like. In banning and censoring porn, you'd be creating a black market; making more problems and creating more abuse in the long run. Also let's not forget about basic 1st amendment rights either… A whole other can of worms.
My point is this. Blame the images all you want, but they're probably not going away. Censor the images and you'll be treating symptoms, not the cause. It's a cultural problem. It's an education issue. A free speech necessity. And certainly something worth talking about.
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It's not hip-hop in itself that can be partly blamed for objectivity. There are more underground artists that don't rhyme about sex, drugs and violence than those that do. It so happens that the most famous ones are told what to rhyme about to sell more records.
It's not our fault as people for not realizing that these portrayals are skewed versions of reality. It's advertisers and media that make us feel like we're not good enough. It's social irresponsibility.
But also…
One of the only ways to inform people that magazines and whatnot are dramatized portrayals is in the home. Bad parenting is just as much to blame as anything else mentioned in this article. When parents let their daughters dress like skanks and get boob-jobs, it falls on the mother and father as much as any media outlet.
Jason,
As much as I agree that censorship of pornography is not the answer (except when it comes to children- keep all children away from hardcore porn, people!), I think you are missing an important point. You state that education is the answer, then you concede that porn “has the ability to influence.”
The mistake you are making is assuming that popular culture, specifically the pro-porn culture we live in, is not part of every American's education. You seem to believe that formal education is different from cultural education. Pornography invades our lives and is PART OF our education. It is inextricable.
I do agree that we cannot and should not censor pornography from consenting adults. I would much rather work hard towards a society where the violent imagery and misogynistic treatment of women in pornography would be offensive to everyone, and not just feminists. In a society where pornography presented a healthy and man and woman affirming view of sexuality, feminists wouldn't have no problem with porn.
You bring up prohibition. It did not work. But prohibitionists were really arguing against the effects of alcohol, not necessarily about alcohol itself. Though alcoholism is still a problem, I'd like to think that many old-time prohibitionists would be pleased with our society's move towards responsible drinking, moves like the very successful “Friends don't let friends drive drunk” campaign and our acknowledgement of addiction. What we have now is a society that understands and accepts the ill effects of alcohol and seeks to repair or prevent them.
We need a society that, as a whole, understands and accepts the ill effects of pornography and seeks to fix them. One way to do that is to change the way sexuality is represented in pornography. Education can do that. But we must accept that the awful representations of today's pornography are all part of our education.