Gen Y: Entitled to Sex. All the time.
This article is part of the TNGG Sex Week series on Gen Y and sex. Read more from the series here.
By Rachel Fletcher: “I was born and raised in beautiful Colorado and moved to Philadelphia in 2004 where I attended the University of Pennsylvania. I was an English major and a film minor. I currently live and work in Tucson, producing videos for a travel TV show and website called The Official Best Of.”
After breaking up with my boyfriend of more than two years, I felt exhilarated by my new-found independence. I moved states, found a new job, and started my man hunt.
I consider myself attractive and outgoing and, here, in a small city, how hard could it be to meet someone? Turns out, a lot more difficult than I had anticipated. My initial excitement about single-dom instantly morphed into fear: When the hell am I going to ever have sex again?
I hadn’t planned on this. I started wracking my brain for ex-boyfriends and guy friends that I could potentially charm the pants off. All I came up with was what was sure to be a very expensive booty call. I started seeing my world through how I imagined many guys see it–probing every situation for a chance to bang (sorry, guys, I’m sure that’s not how you all think). My standards began to drop drastically. Guys I would never consider when I first moved here were suddenly very appealing. “Turn the lights down low baby . . . waaaaaay low.” Was I so uneasy at the thought of missing out on sex that I was willing to lower my standards? Well, basically, but there’s more to it than that.
I get the feeling that I want another relationship so I can relive the experience of finding love, losing it, and then gaining the freedom to start all over again. I think it’s safe to say that this generation doesn’t really rely on the traditional notion of the “sanctity of marriage.” Many of us have seen our parents go through divorce – some of us more than once. Despite the dissipation of marital values, we still want romance, love, and definitely sex.
Perhaps growing up in the overflowing privilege and senseless decadence of the 90s has left us feeling entitled. We want stuff and we want a lot of it; we want results, and we want them fast. GenXers are ambivalent, not caring or feeling. In the words of Lisa Simpson, they “feel neither highs nor lows.” Conversely, Gen Y craves experience, new experience. We want it not because we are a generation of go-getters; we want it because it’s there to be had.
This desire to experience extends into our sex lives, relationships, and thoughts on marriage. Why get married once when I can get married DOZENS of times (insert maniacal laughter here)? We aren’t our mothers’ generation, and we won’t stay with someone for the “sake of the children.” We’ll drop our significant other like lil’ Wayne drops lil’ beats. We don’t live in the moment, we live in the future–we are constantly looking for what is next. Our impatience drives our ambition.
So the question is this: am I lowering my standards by hooking up with dud-dudes? Not entirely – I’m just gaining some quasi-sexy experience while adding another notch to life’s infinite learning curve.
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[...] Generation Y – What we really want – part of The Next Great Generation Sex Week – "Perhaps growing up in the overflowing privilege and senseless decadence of the 90s has left us feeling entitled. We want stuff and we want a lot of it; We want results, and we want them fast. GenXers are ambivalent, not caring or feeling. In the words of Lisa Simpson, they “feel neither highs nor lows.” Conversely, Gen Y craves experience, new experience. We want it not because we are a generation of go-getters; we want it because it’s there to be had." [...]
Maybe you're just not as attractive as you think you are.
Maybe your judgment of others (genXers) and self professed feeling of entitlement isn't shows through, lessening your appeal to those of the opposite sex.
I think both those comments are valid and probably true… so you got me there. It's true I've made some over-generalizations about genXers, but I don't think ambivalence is solely what defines them. Nor do I think all of Gen-Y carries an air of entitlement. Most all the people I'm friends with are GenXers. Consequently, I'm finding it harder and harder to relate to them and I don't necessarily attribute it to being at different stages in life. This isn't just an age gap issue. People of a younger age will probably crave novel, even experimental, experiences more than older people – this isn't a new idea. My question is, is there a different driving force for wanting and searching for new experience in Gen-Y than there is for Gen-x? Pin-pointing exactly what drives a generation is something specific to that generation's perception. Perhaps this all was too much geared towards a dissection of my personal griefs, rather than a study of how Gen-Y perceives sex and experience. I don't think I'm entirely off base with this. GenY pop culture is certainly more oversexed than Genx, and because of this, I think GenY has the tendency to view sex with a certain degree of levity, more so than GenX.
My intent was not to belittle either generation as being totally entitled, ambivalent, or self-absorbed. I do however, believe that these qualities are among many that differentiate GenX from GenY.
and for the record, I never used the word “man hunt.” Courtesy of the editors.
@Rick. Ouch dude. Harsh.
@Rachel. Give it time. I'm sure lots of men (real ones, not dudes or guys or bros) out there are happy to meet your needs.