This article is part of the TNGG Sex Week series on Gen Y and sex. Read more from the series here.
At the age of 22 I still feel a true connection with Becky “The Icebox” O’Shea. The uber-Tomboy of all Tomboys that just wanted to kiss her best guy friend (but didn’t quite know how to go about it) is the reason why I still, to this day, watch Little Giants when it’s on.
If Becky was a real person, we’d probably be sisters. She’s one of those girls referred to as “intimidating,” you know the kind. The kind of girl who’s assertive in her actions, sexuality, and ambition. The kind of girl who longs to make a connection with a guy that’s on her same level only to be disappointed that all suitable guys are taken and/or gay. Everyone’s that left is either interested in one-night stands or playing Halo through the night on their Xbox.
Becky, is well … me … and every other career-minded, independent female that I encounter. As we’ve moved forward to taking over college classrooms and making up nearly half of the workforce, there’s one area where Gen Y females are being left out in the dust – dating.
I think I finally know why.
While most guys were getting prepped to beat everyone at Fantasy Football, many of us females were prepping ourselves to be assertive, successful, and independent women (thanks Buffy Summers!), while at the same time learning how to balance that against our traditional gender roles. We have to be independent and dependable, sexy and homely, assertive and submissive. For the most part, we’ve achieved this balance of “femininism” successfully. Unfortunately, Gen Y males have failed to keep up with us.
They’ve failed to learn to not be afraid or “intimidated” by the same women they’ve grown with. They’ve failed to meld the old-fashioned with the new-fashioned. They’ve failed to embrace our Gen Y ideals of “femininism.” So, we’re labeled as “intimidating,” or “Lesbians” (a nasty euphemism for “feminist” that’s insulting to all women regardless of sexuality). So here’s my advice, follow the lead of your fellow females.
Don’t be scared by that outspoken girl in your American Civics class, or the sharply dressed and detail-oriented project manager that rules your work schedule. Here’s what you have to do. . Stop being scared and reacting immediately. Stop seeking out meaningless one-night stands and speaking in text message code.
These tricks were cute in middle school, endearing in high schooland now, just downright silly and unnecessary. Embrace your inner “femininist” and live up to the standards that we’ve set for ourselves. Just ask us out already, tell us that our assertiveness and ambition is sexy. Chances are, if you’re turned on, the feeling is mutual.
Author: Valeria Villaroel – Recent College Grad, who’s media-obsessed. Straddling the line between low-tech and new-tech. Writer. Personality. Fangirl. I love thinking about and debating brit-pop, media, politics, and social issues. I have a lot of things to say, and probably not enough words to say it. I love, love love (and hate) food, and am obsessed with Michael Jackson. Don’t hate.