You’ve been iced, bro!

Uh-oh. “We had a good run Bros…”

I was supposed to write this piece on the cultural phenomenon and grassroots marketing debate that is (was?) Bros Icing Bros.

Then AdAge had to report that the keynote site for this frat-tastic frenzy has been shut down.

Damn.

While I won’t get into the debate as to whether or not Smirnoff was responsible for shutting down the go-to site for all things Iced bros, I want to rant a bit on the concept of presenting your bro with an (admittedly) awful (awful!) alcoholic beverage.

When I was first told about Bros Icing Bros, which seems so long ago now (but really was a month or two), my exact response was, “that’s f*cking stupid.”

At that time, I made a personal dictum that I would never involve myself in such juvenile shenanigans. Never would I be Iced. Never would I Ice. I thought I was above the Law of the Bros.

But then it hit me. This is f*cking great. One bro got Iced by the cops. The cops! I was going to link to the video, but someone (coughSMIRNOFFcough) had to be all righteous and whatever.

In the history of bros, the ultimate triumph is to totally humiliate one of your bros. Epic pranks. We all aspire to create the modern-day Trojan Horse. But a cultural issue got in the way. Nationwide, bros could not agree on what should be inside the Brojan Horse (yup, just did that).

Icing wasn’t the Trojan Horse, but the Smirnoff Ice was what our Trojan Horse was carrying. Finally, we had a nationwide broment (moment, for you non-bros) during which we all agreed upon the contents of our Brojan Horse.

And it’s only gotten crazier. If you Iced your bro by simply handing him an Ice, you should lose your bro license for a period of time determined by your fellow bros, depending on how gregarious your offense was. Better Icings have included “Saran-Wrapping an Ice to the toilet of a hungover bro, or an Ice that has been tied to a dog and sent to see his broner (bro owner),” according to a urlesque.com article.

Watching your Bro kneel down and chug a Smirnoff Ice is the Icing on the cake of your Brojan Horse. It’s the Broniversal (universal) agreement that, despite the spectacle your bro becomes by chugging Smirnoff Ice, the most imBrotant (important) part of the Brojan Horse is in the presentation.

So go present an Ice to your favorite bro and f*ck Smirnoff. Viva La Icing.

Photo by dpstyles™