Text messages don’t say ‘I love you’
Through study abroad programs, family vacations, and the Internet, the globalization of Gen Y has allowed us access to the world in ways that previous generations never thought possible. The world is a small place. And getting smaller.
However, as amazing as it is to say that we’ve visited 10-plus countries in our 20-odd years, easy access to far off and exotic locales has wreaked havoc on our romantic lives.
A two-year-old USA Today article puts study abroad numbers at a record high (it’s easy to assume they’ve gone higher), up over 150% compared to the 1990s. This is because of higher-education’s emphasis on study abroad programs, which are becoming exponentially more popular, and in some schools, even a requirement. That, coupled with entry-level jobs now requiring travel and time abroad, means that Gen Y is flung far, significantly more so than Boomers, and even Gen Xers, were.
But where does that leave us in terms of relationships? Since we went away to college, went off to study abroad, moved for a first job, and started traveling all over the place, Millennials have mainstreamed the long-distance relationship. But we haven’t perfected it.
Long-distance romances are everywhere these days, and with technology like Gchat and Skype, it’s getting easier and easier. No longer is it necessary to wait by the mailbox for a letter, or for the phone to ring, the way Boomers and Xers used to.
But, sometimes technology really isn’t everything.
Though our phone plans come with international calling and texting options, and we can literally talk face to face with whomever we’d like via web calling, and, adjusted for inflation, airline prices are actually down (believe it or not), it’s so easy to get along with wall-to-wall posts that the romance has entirely fallen away from long-distance entanglements.
The ease with which we pull off long-distance is detrimental. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Well, not really. It’s still as difficult as ever to maintain a functioning relationship, no matter how many Skype dates and middle-of-the-night phone calls are made.
When you can call and text all the time, what’s the point of sending a funny postcard or a long email detailing the day’s activities, thoughts, and feelings? We need to remember that you can’t have a meaningful conversation in 140 characters, no matter how tempting it is to do so. When physical togetherness is out of the question, the focus of a relationship needs to be on the communication – otherwise, what is there to keep a relationship going?
I’ve seen my friends’ relationships (and my own) fizzle out because not being around the person you’re in a relationship with whenever you want to be is incredibly difficult.
Sex is important. But so is holding hands, cuddling, watching movies, and making breakfast. Not having those things leads to stress, tension and anxiety, which is only exacerbated by a partner’s absence.
Gen Y needs to throw back to simpler times when it comes to long-distance romance. While Skype can be very helpful (and has made leaps and bounds in the phone sex department), there’s nothing better than a long email full of benign daily descriptions and “I-miss-you-so-much” diatribes. Sadly, those crucial elements of a relationship have fallen through the cracks of the imperfect digital age we’re living in.
We still need to put in the hard work and remember that this is one area in which technology can’t really help us.
Photo by margolove
