Empowerment through ‘breaking edge’
Disclaimer: This article is not meant to bash straight-edge in any way. It is simply an explanation of my experiences being straight-edge and my reasons for breaking edge. I fully respect anyone who chooses to be straight-edge, as well as those who do not.
Tuesdays are my favorite night of the work week. Why? They have $.99 margaritas at Señor Cactus.
Two years ago, you would have never heard me say that, but not because I wasn’t 21. Two years ago, I was straight-edge.
In my experiences, only about half of my peers have ever heard of straight-edge, and of that half, very few have any real idea of what it entails. Essentially, straight-edge is a sober lifestyle, but the reasons for assuming this label run much deeper than simply not drinking or doing drugs.
The term “straight edge,” often abbreviated as “sXe,” allegedly got its start back in the 80’s thanks to a song called “Out of Step” by the punk band Minor Threat. The movement was fueled by rebellion against the norms of that day and that scene, namely drugs and alcohol. Straight-edge has transformed over the past three decades, so for Millennials, it might also include other aspects such as vegetarianism or veganism, abstaining from promiscuous sex, and advocacy in political and environmental issues.
It’s difficult to say how many people claim edge because straight-edge isn’t an organized body of any sort. It’s a lifestyle, a mindset, a philosophy. It means different things to different people.
Back in the day, sXe people stayed connected through self-published “zines” distributed at their local punk and hardcore shows. With the advent of the Internet, some straight-edge information became available online. But if you Google “straight-edge,” you’ll quickly see that the sXe community hasn’t exactly made the most of the Internet as a resource. There are a few outdated sites out there, but that’s about it.
Personally, I was involved in one of the more popular online communities, xsisterhoodx, which had over 22,000 members. Here’s an excerpt from my old profile, explaining why I claimed edge:
“I decided to become straight-edge the very minute I set foot on my college campus in freshman year in August of 2007. My background: I grew up in church, went to a Christian school, and hung out with teens in the youth group. Drinking and drugs were never a thought in my mind. I also have a family history of alcoholism, and it hurt to see the ones I love in a constant battle with this disease. So why did I need to label myself as straight-edge if I was already living the lifestyle? I believed straight-edge would be the ultimate commitment to myself. Not to any religion, not to my friends, not to my family. It was about self-respect and self-empowerment.”
So, what changed? Well, my first year of college ended, and my convictions for being edge remained strong. Sure, all my friends drank, but it didn’t bother me. I’d see all their sloppy photos on Facebook the next day and I’d just sit back and smile, proud of myself for being “better than that.”
But about half way through my second year, things changed. I ended a one-year long-distance relationship. He had always been supportive of my straight-edge lifestyle, but I now realized that was because it gave him one less thing to worry about when we were 200 miles apart. I wasn’t out drinking and partying with boys.
With this new freedom, I found myself thinking about a lot of things, including those Facebook photos of my friends who seemed to be having the time of their life. Then something in my head clicked: I want to get drunk. No, actually, I’ve WANTED to get drunk!
The first person I told was my roommate at the time. Her response: “YAYYY!”
The second person I told was my best friend back home. Her response: “YAYYY!”
So it was settled, and I was excited. That weekend, I went home for spring break, and I got drunk.
Looking back on it now, I find it all very ironic. I said that I decided to be edge out of “self-empowerment,” but in hindsight, I know that I decided to be edge out of fear. I was trying to protect myself from something that I had never experienced or understood, and I was lying to myself that I wasn’t curious.
Since that time, I’ve learned a lot about responsibility. I didn’t need to live an extremist, straight-edge lifestyle for the self-empowerment. Moderation is the key, and that’s something that straight-edge doesn’t teach. For me, “breaking edge” was the real act of self-empowerment.
I have always found the straight-edge movement fascinating… To me, there’s no difference between sXe and religion, it’s a lifestyle choice, but not one that I’d make for myself.
I’ve known a LOT of people who have broken edge in the past few years, and I wonder how much of it has to do with being in a college environment that so heavily revolves around drugs, drinking, and promiscuous sex?
I think that it’s healthy to abstain from drugs, etc, but being almost militant about it, the way some straight edge kids are, is just so odd to me…
Great article!
I never considered myself straight-edge, but for a very long time I refused to drink or do drugs. Like Alex, I find the sXe movement really interesting. Whenever I meet someone who calls themself straight-edge I always feel like asking a million questions. Some people just don’t want to drink and that’s okay.
Like Alex, I think it’s a healthy life choice to chose to be edge. However, some people just go overboard with it and try to force it on others, which just isn’t cool.
Awesome article!
Now that is some real self discovery. It’s amazing how we can look back at ourselves even just a few years ago and barely recognize the person that we once were, as if we’re not the same person. But that’s part of being human; we change, we grow, we develop.
Great article
This is a great article! I remember in high school the main crowd I hung out with was straight edge. It definitely is a lifestyle choice that is hard to follow. I was sort of caught in the in-between of it all since I’ve drank before. I was lucky though because they still accepted me as a friend even though I drink. I’ve known some crowds who don’t even associate with non-straight edge kids, it’s very intense. It’s quite the fascinating lifestyle and requires so much self control. But then again, I suppose life is really all about change and learning how to adapt. This article definitely shows that.
Again, awesome article, I loved it!
This was a really insightful article, but I’m curious — how much do you think your choice to, for lack of a better way to say it, join the straight-edge movement perpetuated your choice to stay straight-edge (as in, not drink, not do drugs, etc.)?
In other words — I’ve always wondered how much, once you’ve indoctrinated yourself into any group of people (be it straight-edge, a religion, or whatever), it influences your choices, where you might have been more open to trying something this lifestyle disapproves of if you weren’t in this group and just living your life that way on your own.
We all know that once you find a group of people who support your decisions, it’s easy to keep with your choices. But is it so easy that you just fall into it when you’d really like to do otherwise?
Angela,
I knew maybe 5 other people from my high school who were straight-edge, but I wasn’t even friends with them, nor did I start hanging out with them when I became edge. When I got to college, no one even knew what straight-edge was, so I was even more isolated.
My initial reason to become edge had nothing to do with other people. It was a commitment to myself. Sure, it was nice knowing that there were other people all around the world who had the same beliefs I did, but I didn’t know any of them. If I would’ve had a group of friends who were also edge, then things might have been different, and I think I would’ve stayed edge longer.
Hope that answers your question!