Get rid of your drama llama, he's only going to make things worse
On April 15, 2009, then 18-year-old Rachel Wade stabbed 18-year-old Sarah Ludemann in the heart. Why? Because they had the same boyfriend, 19-year-old Josh Camacho.
Wade, now only 20, was sentenced to 27 years in prison for second degree murder. She is going to turn 21 in prison. She’s going to turn 30 in prison. She’s even going to turn 40 in prison. Essentially, her life is going to pass her by while she sits behind bars for doing what (most) girls do every day — fight over a guy.
Wade and Ludemann had been “fighting” via MySpace, emails, text messages and voicemails for months leading up to that night in April when their metaphorical argument came to physical blows.
Are Millennials so frustrated by the death of dating that they’re willing to kill? Are we so wrapped up in technology that it’s the driving force behind everything we do?
Say it with me now…W-T-F.
Stabbing? Really? She could have just tried to win him over with a nice meatloaf or apple pie, or better yet, she could have dumped his ass and found a dude who wasn’t surrounded with middle school playground drama.
Yes, technology has changed the romantic landscape in big ways. There are dating sites, “casual encounters” on Craigslist and combined with texting, email and Facebook, we can literally have a separate Inbox for every single person we’re “involved” with. The fact of the matter is that violence has become a sort of trend in a small percentage of Millennial dating.
It’s a small percentage, but it’s still enough that it should raise concern. People are dying.
We’re dating a lot of people at once. We don’t want to get serious, we want to have fun and be successful; why can’t we accept this and move on sans sharp/dangerous objects and life sentences?
What’s our deal? All the evidence is pointing to the fact that we’re just going to fill up our little black books until we run out of paper, so why all the drama?
Technology.
Movies paint picture-perfect endings that don’t happen very often. Music videos convey ideas of violence at the slightest inkling of cheating. Oprah tells us not to give up on love. The Beatles claim that all you need is love.
With the onset of technology, dating has morphed from a courtship marathon to an instant gratification sprint. It’s less John Lennon “I wanna hold your hand,” and more Lil Wayne, “Shorty wanna hump, you know I’d like to touch your lovely lady lumps.”
Technology killed romance and compassion, but it also killed patience (which I’m told is a virtue). Texts, emails, IMs… it’s all instant. We want everything now and if we don’t get it we flip out…and sometimes we stab people?
Over a dude/chick?
Really?
I suppose I do understand where Wade was coming from. I’m frustrated with emotionless, non-committal Millennial men, too…but do we stab people? No. We ignore technological prods from drama llamas. We write a sad poem in our journals and move on.
Let’s move to pass legislation that each new iPhone or BlackBerry should come with free therapy/anger management. Or next time you find yourself in a love triangle don’t get mad, get even. Squares are fun shapes, too.
Photo by bluebison
“I’m frustrated with emotionless, non-committal Millennial men”
Then don’t date or hook-up with them. Seems pretty simple to me. Go find yourself a non-millennial man.
In my observation millennial men tend to be “less manly” if you will. It might stem from the fact that there are more broken homes than ever before and less male parenting to guide them. Maybe its a disregard for the opposite (fairer) sex. And most definitely its a lack of manners and courtesy a man would traditionally show a woman, like holding open a door or buying her a drink.
Since millennial women are more open and accepting to a diverse group of friends why does that stop when it comes to dating options? I’m not suggesting you pull an Anna Nicole Smith and start hitting the nursing homes for dates but perhaps you need to widen your age demographic to find what you are craving.
The stereotype of emotionless & non-committal men dates back to long before any millennials were born. You could poll a group of guys and we would all agree: women create drama and are generally bat-shit insane. These unfair stereotypes on both sides stem from the simple fact that men & women are wired differently. From an evolutionary perspective these differences were important and helped humanity achieve civilization; from an individual perspective it is proof that there is indeed a higher power, and it is laughing it’s ass off at us.
Learning how to properly communicate will solve/prevent almost any relationship issue that arises, but it’s requires motivation, perseverance, the occasional meltdown, and an infinite amount of work. The key is finding the person who is willing to put in the same amount of effort in the herculean task that is a long term relationship. The hardest part of long term relationships is consistently swallowing your pride, putting aside stubbornness, admitting wrongs, and moving forward.
If you are meeting nothing but men who don’t want to commit, chances are you are hunting for one in the wrong place. All too often I hear these complaints from folks who generally meet partners at bars/while drunk. Alcohol inhibits judgement, and is a horrible way to start a relationship. If relationships are work, why would you hunt for a partner in an adult playground?
The first step would be to stop pointing fingers and analyze all the causes of relationship failure, which your own actions be included in. Chances are, communication across the gender barrier are at the roots http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/advice/communication-skills-for-lifelong-relationships1.htm
I really don’t think technology is what enabled Wade to kill Ludemann. Clearly this girl has some issues going on, which makes me think that the escalating argument could have ended just as severely whether or not they had MySpace or AIM.
While technology has made dating and keeping in touch a hell of a lot easier, in my experience I’ve never felt that it actually killed romance or compassion. It’s just an outlet through which people communicate. How they choose to express themselves is a separate issue.
If women are only finding guys who want to “touch [their] lovely lady lumps” then they’re probably just looking in the wrong place or need to re-examine their standards. Being emotionally unavailable and non-committal (i.e. just looking for a good lay) isn’t something that’s characteristic of Gen Y men. It’s something that’s been there all along; something of which women have always had to be cognizant. If anything I think it’s the changing attitudes of women – and not technology – that is creating this new world in which frivolous sexual encounters are encouraged and meaningful romantic connections have become a low priority.
Really? She stabbed her BECAUSE this bully who weighed 55 pounds and stood five inches taller came and ATTACKED HER.The deceased ATTACKED her over a boy,not the other way around as people who buy the hype like this story so foolishly believe.The deceased had followed her before and assaulted and harassed her.ALL documented police reports.The deceased harassed Wade at her waitress job repeatedly according to other co-workers.
I personally know Rachel Wade. You need to get your facts straight. Sarah came to were Rachel was that night with a van full of her friends to attack Rachel. Rachel was only defending herself. Just as Ken stated, She was repeatedly harassed by Sarah. I’m not saying that what Rachel did wasn’t terribly wrong, but she was not the only wrong one in this whole devastating situation.
I think that Josh Camancho should have been charged w/murder too.If it wasn’t for him,the girls would have not fought,and Sarah would still be here. That dude is NASTY anyways. I don’t see what they saw in him.