I was never a big fan of sexting. That is until the day I did it. It started out as an off-color joke, until I realized the person on the other end of my sexts was actually getting a huge kick out of this. In turn, I realized the fabulous way of teasing/foreplay sexts could afford.
It’s like someone is making custom porn for you! So, of course, the sexts progress from the basic “I want to bone you” to the more explicit kind (I don’t think I need to tell you) that involve the most mud-covered of dirty talk, and then finally, the Mecca: the actual sending of nude photos.
But, unless you want to become a socialite or Vanessa Hudgens, here are some basic guidelines for avoiding embarassment down the line on the off chance your bits get plastered all over the web.
1) Whenever Possible — Avoid Showing Your Face
This is perhaps the most important rule to follow when sending out pictures of yourself. It’s likely that whoever you’re sending these photos to is someone that you’re already having sexy-times with on a regular basis. They probably already know what you smell like, and whether or not you like getting your hair pulled, etc. In turn, you know exactly what part of you turns them on the most, and although it may be your gorgeous face, the whole point of sexting is to just skip to the good stuff. So angle that camera phone to just below the neckline, and don’t be shy about touching yourself suggestively.
Also, no matter how much you make the person promise to delete upon receiving or not share with anyone, chances are this will not happen. More often than not, I’ve seen guys casually flip through the photos of their phone, and when I point out that there is naked lady on there whom I can clearly identify, they just share away. Insure yourself, ladies.
2) No Myspace Photos Please
At all times, please avoid pouting. Of course, pout all you want if you’re not showing your face (see tip #1). But nothing says “I’m Miley Cyrus and finally legal” more than a pout. If you’re sending nude photos of yourself in the first place, you’ve already got more up your sleeve than duck lips. Try checking out bendmeover.net for some inspiration.
3) Make It A Game
Say your long-distance FWB is on their way to town, or your lover is coming back from a long weekend away with their parents. A series of well-timed out pictures over the course of the day could make the night go out with a bang. But spice them up a bit, by telling a story. A picture here, a picture there. Maybe you’ve got some new La Perlas that you picked up, or the bathroom was completely empty and you locked the door. This is a good opportunity to explore fantasies or role-playing games (and maybe even dip a toe into discussing it with your person).
4) Make It Into An Art Project
Sometimes as a kid, I’d cut out pictures from magazines, and then glue-stick them all together on poster board for an awesome art project. You can kind of do the same thing with this. Start from wherever you want: top, bottom, front, back, in-between…it doesn’t really matter. But once you pick your starting point, think of where to build on from there, with the end goal of the final series being a total composite of you as the femme fatale you have deep inside you. Also, lots of phones have cool apps to make fun photos, like Hipstamatic, or Polarize, and you’re on your way to make your Sasha Grey-esque photos ready for the next issue of Nylon.
5) Take photos together
You’re lying in bed (or floor, or carpet, or shower, whatever, I don’t discriminate) and now is the perfect time to gather some photos for your reserves. Ask your partner to take pictures of you, maybe some with you. It’ll be both exhilarating, fun, maybe a bit odd at first, but totally hot.
The most important thing to remember when you’re sending pictures of yourself is to be in control. Sex (and sex-related things) are always better when you’re not being coerced into it. So, it’s all about whatever comfort level you’re up to.