Full Frontal: How Porn Makes ‘It’ Better (Seriously) (Maybe NSFW)

The first time I watched porn I was 12.  My three best friends were at my house, and my parents had left for work on that Saturday.  So, four pre-pubescent girls were left to their own devices.  After watching Clueless, repeated viewings of Cruel Intentions (complete with zoom-ins on Ryan Phillippe’s ass), levitation experiments, and making our own special blend of weed by ripping open tea bags and then lighting them on fire, we ventured upstairs to my parents room where the illegal cable box lived.

And then we flipped the channels to the porn channels.  I’m not talking late night Cinemax, I’m talking about full-on porn, with the moaning and the angles, and the scrunched-up faces, and the sweat, and the inappropriate words, and nearly no music.  Just full-on dirty panting.

I liked it.  Up until somewhere mid-teens when we got rid of our black box, I would sneak into my parents room and watch glimpses of porn whenever possible.  I watched enough porn to start to not like it anymore.  It got boring, frankly, and fetishized porn freaked me out.  If it had facials, pigtails, or even balloons, I was immediately turned off.  Don’t even get me started on anime and 2 Girls, 1 Cup. That was really the kicker to stop my porn watching habits.

I went a good long while without stepping foot into the porn pool.  But then I lost my virginity, and like any true de-virginized nympho, I seeked out anything having to do with sex (except for Craigslist ads though, not touching that one).  I was a sexually curious teenager all over again. Except this time I had the power of the Internet at my hands. So I found  the ever reliable Fleshbot, erotic blogs on Tumblr, websites where I could watch for free, teaser clips on the paid sites, Tristan Taormino and James Deen. But best of all, I found someone to share my porn lust with.

I brought up my new-found love for porn with a sex partner.  Soon enough we began sending each other links of things that we liked, that we thought the other person would like too, along with the usual sexting. It added a heightened, incredibly erotic sensation to everything that I would look at, especially if it was something that he sent me.  There was something innately intimate about knowing that when he was looking at porn, there was something about it that made him also think of me.

Some may think it’s strange, but it’s really hot knowing someone thinks of you – even if it’s with the help of porn.

By sharing porn with my sex partner, and talking about it with him, I felt like I had an insight into what his fantasies were, and how willing he was to experiment sexually.  Our shared affection for porn helped foster open sexual communication, which made the last time that we saw each other, without going into too much detail, pretty awesome.

If you’re looking to broach the idea of watching porn with your partner, or you want to get more comfortable with the idea of your partner watching porn, a really great resource is Rachel Rabbit White’s Lady Porn Day. It has links to articles, blogs, confessionals, etc., all related to watching porn as a lady and with ladies.

How’s about it?  Would you ever share porn with your partner? Do you think porn can help your sex life?

Valeria Villarroel Recent College Grad, New Employee, who's media-obsessed. Straddling the line between low-tech and new-tech. Writer. Personality. Fangirl. I love thinking about and debating brit-pop, media, politics, and social issues. I have a lot of things to say, and probably not enough words to say it. Find me on twitter @Maleria_withaV

View all posts by Valeria Villarroel

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