The 7 Weirdest Kids’ Shows from the ’90s

“Stoop kid’s afraid to leave his stoop!”

An hour after I heard someone random on the street yell this to his friend, I was on YouTube, obsessively clicking through episodes of one of my favorite childhood shows, Hey, Arnold! As my mind swirled with other popular shows from my ’90s childhood, I couldn’t help but notice something many of them had in common: the basic plot was, well…really weird.

Here are some of the strangest shows we loved as children that now, looking back, just seem bizarre:

Ah! Real Monsters! – Try explaining this gem to one of those kids that never had cable as a child. The basic storyline follows three adolescent monsters who live in the sewer under the city dump and attend an institute to learn how to terrify children. This isn’t your Monster’s Inc.-style cute fest, however. Oblina (the British one that resembled an umbrella) had a signature scare that included pulling out her own organs and inducing nightmares by tickling the brains of young children while they slept. Totally normal.

Rocko’s Modern Life - Rocko was another 1990s Nickelodeon treat. Scene: a wallaby from Australia, Rocko, emigrates to America and befriends a cow, Heifer, and a turtle friend, Filbert. Though the characters themselves were not too strange for a children’s show, the episodes were often very sarcastic and generally cynical. Definitely a far cry from today’s more upbeat Hannah Montana or iCarly.

CatDog - Two brothers, the conniving Cat and the lovable and guileless Dog, lead a difficult life due to the fact that they are attached to one another. The two – or one depending on how you look at it – live happily in their house, a cleverly designed half-bone-half-fish, with Winslow, a mouse whose accent inexplicably sounds like a newsie from 1899. Yet as children we somehow never questioned why they were attached, what their parents were, or why Cat never tried to eat the snarky mouse.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? - This show could be renamed Scare the Shit out of Seven-Year-Olds for its dark, supernatural plot lines. As a child I was banned from watching it, due to nightmares of dolls coming to life and Gameboys taking over the brains of young boys. Thirteen or so years later I had the guts to watch some old episodes on YouTube and guess what? It’s still f-ing terrifying! Thanks for the nightmares, SNICK…

The Secret World of Alex Mack - While admittedly this was a personal favorite of mine, I can’t help but wonder why I readily accepted that Alex Mack, a teenage tomboy in a backwards hat and baggy plaid, could turn into a puddle when necessary. After being nearly hit by a truck the chemical GC-161 spills all over her, giving her the ability to change into a puddle, give people electric shocks and glow when under stress. This show shined new light on the term “awkward middle school years” considering Larisa Oleynik‘s future as the beautiful “Bianca” in 10 Things I Hate About You.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - If you need explanation for this one, please reread the title of the show. I want to know who was sipping a five-hour energy drink in the brainstorming session and thought, “Turtles…mutant half-human turtles…who are also ninjas!” Nevertheless, this person struck creative gold and inspired many a recess spent playing Ninja Turtles, with every girl demanding to be “the pink one.”

Dinosaurs – This show about a society of dinosaurs in 60,000,003 BC highlighted a family led by Earl Sinclair, whose job is to push over trees. (Again, we never questioned such a job as children.) If you’re having trouble remembering this one, perhaps the phrase, “I’m the baby, gotta love me!” will spark a memory? This show, while aimed at children, had some pretty serious themes including: environmentalism, censorship, steroid use, and communism. Not your typical Spongebob Squarepants fodder of today’s television.

Which weird shows from our youth do you remember?