Dame Cooke Presents: How to Move in with Your S/O and Not Kill Each Other

Oh, shit! What have we got ourselves into?!

So you’ve finally decided to take the leap? Okay, not that leap, but you’ve decided to move in with your significant other. Congratulations! That’s a big step, and at this point, it’s probably too late to go back on it. So now you might be wondering how you’re going to make it work or why you got yourself into this mess in the first place.

Well, there are a few great perks to living together you should keep in mind. Remembering these will keep your chin up when you run into inevitable speed bumps in the process. The first great thing about moving in together is you no longer feel like a vagabond. Every relationship hits that point where you have multiple sets of everything you own and where there is a nightly debate on whose place you’re going to stay at. It will be nice to feel like you have a space to come home to that is yours – both of yours – each night and have everything you need right there. It’s an important learning experience and stage in a relationship and, hey, it’s cost effective.

My first nugget of advice for peaceful cohabitation would be to open the line of communication before you move in together. As uncomfortable as it might be – talk through how you will handle all of the worst-case scenarios. It will be a lot more uncomfortable if the worst-case scenario happens and you have no plan in place to figure it out. For example, if you are sexually active you should have already talked about what will happen if there is an accidental pregnancy. Your answer now that you will be cohabitating might be different than what it would have been before. Talk about how you will manage the finances, cooking, and chores. Discuss what will happen if you break up.

(I know that at this point you are positive that it will never happen, but you need a plan just in case things don’t work out, so that you’re not left footing a rent you can’t afford on your own and you’re forced into another under-paid internship.)

My second recommendation is to create your own space. Guys: set up a man cave. Whether you’re in a house and it’s the entire basement or whether it’s a stack of books and DVDs that solely belong to you – it’s important to have an area to call your own. Ladies, do the same. It can be overwhelming when you move in with someone and it feels like all of a sudden you have to share everything. Don’t let that happen! Set aside an area for you that you can retreat to when you need a moment of personal zen. It’s important to retain your own identity, interests, and yes, even personal space as you become closer in the relationship.

Lastly, The Dame recommends having sex. Lots of it. Chances are, if you decided to move-in together, something was working well in the sexy department. Set a good sexual precedent in your new abode by christening each room. You’ll thank me later.

Do you live with your significant other? What advice would you give to a couple about to move-in with each other?

Dame Cooke Dame Cooke is a Gen Y sexpert living and working in Boston. As TNGG's premier relationship guru, she's here to answer your questions about love, lust, a lack thereof, and everything in between. When she's not on duty, she enjoys watching Boston sports, drinking Boston beer, and, of course, meeting Boston boys! Need advice from Dame? Email askdamecooke@gmail.com

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