3 Things that Are Killing Your Relationship

The Dame hasn’t always had the right answers when it comes to relationships. In fact, the fastest way to becoming a sex and relationship expert is to fuck things up. A lot.

There are trends you start to notice after you go through multiple break-ups. Whether you were dumped or whether you were the dumper, whether there was infidelity, or whether you just grew apart – there are a few common issues that generally lead a relationship down the path of destruction.

1) You haven’t talked about the future.

After a certain amount of time, every relationship hits a point where you’re either going to commit to being together or you’re going to break-up.  Sometimes that’s after 6 months, sometimes it’s after 3 years… The red flag is when that point arrives and no one wants to talk about it. There is a question mark hanging over the future of your relationship that no one wants to address it. The reality is- if you can’t even talk about the future of your relationship, you’re never going to get there.

2) You don’t agree on the future.

Your partner wants to get married and have kids. You don’t.  You may think that it’s worth compromising on or sticking out, but the reality is, if you can’t agree on these fundamental values, you are just wasting each others time… And wasting time that you could be spending with someone else whose desires for the future align with yours.

3) You’re just not on the same page.

This is one of those things that is more of a feeling than anything else. It sort of feels like you don’t know each other as well any more. You turn left, look behind you, and your partner is turning right. Maybe you’ve grown apart or maybe the spark is gone, but if you have a feeling like something just isn’t working- you’re probably right.

What were the tell-tale signs that your previous relationships weren’t going to work out? Let us know in the comments. And as always, e-mail Dame Cooke with your sex and relationship questions.

Dame Cooke Dame Cooke is a Gen Y sexpert living and working in Boston. As TNGG's premier relationship guru, she's here to answer your questions about love, lust, a lack thereof, and everything in between. When she's not on duty, she enjoys watching Boston sports, drinking Boston beer, and, of course, meeting Boston boys! Need advice from Dame? Email askdamecooke@gmail.com

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